One of the many things we love about DISC is that it doesn’t only apply to your working relationships. You can use DISC in your everyday life, whether you’re with friends, family, or your partner, you can identify their DISC styles and use the knowledge to build stronger relationships with them.
As we are nearing the 14th, we thought we’d dedicate this week’s blog to Valentine’s Day, DISC, and love. Whatever your relationship, we believe that DISC can be used to make a positive impact in every aspect of your life.
We have taken this opportunity to look closely at each style and see how they tend to behave when it comes to their love life and relationships – We do exaggerate this for learning!
D Style – Doer – Fast-paced/Task-Oriented
When it comes to romance, D styles like to take the lead. They tend to assume that everyone wants the same thing, the same as what they want, and won’t necessarily ask your opinion.
If you are having problems, D styles will only have 1 conversation and expect it to be resolved. They may not deliver it in the best way and won’t worry about hurting your feelings. Take them at their word, they do not beat around the bush. If they say they don’t want a relationship, they mean it!
If you are a D style, think about how you express yourself in a relationship. Some styles may need more reassurance, so be aware of the need for communication and make time for difficult conversations (there may need to be more than one!). Make sure that you listen to your partner, understand what they want and make sure that you are both wanting the same things.
You may want to take the lead, but a relationship is not only about you, so work with your partner and make sure that both of you are being heard.
I Style – Influencer – Fast-paced/People Focused
A relationship with an I style is full of fun and entertainment. They hate confrontation and are in their happy place when both sides of the relationship are happy.
It is best, to be honest with an I style. They don’t like to hear tough conversations and will always try to avoid any sort of argument until it is forgotten. After a break up they will just want to move on, or if they feel they have been wronged, they will tell everyone about it.
If you are an I style, you may think a lot of fast and new things are great, however, some styles might want to slow things down and take things step by step. Make sure to be open about how you feel, don’t hide your feelings in fear of upsetting your partner. Brushing your problems under the carpet will only cause you to suffer as a result. It isn’t helpful to just say what you think your partner wants to hear. Being open and honest is the best way for your relationships to grow.
S Style – Supporters – Steady Paced/People Focused
S styles tend to be the type of person that people think that they want. Kind, loyal, trustworthy, however, they are often ‘friend-zoned’ and not seen as a viable romantic option. They tend to be terrible at expressing their needs and wants when it comes to a relationship, focusing on making their partner happy, even going out of their way to do something that they wouldn’t usually do.
They will avoid conflict at all costs but will remember the problem, bury it deeply until it all comes out years later when their partner has completely forgotten about it.
If you are an S style, be honest and upfront about what you want. Talk to your partner about your problems and try to work it out there and then. If you ignore it, it will bubble up and be worse for everyone when it finally does come out.
C Style – Considerers – Steady Paced/Task-Oriented
C styles like to ask questions. They will be interested in getting to know who you are and what you are looking for. They are thoughtful, considerate, and will surprise you by remembering obscure pieces of information that you had mentioned once a long time ago.
They will make a plan, for dates, for holidays, for anything you do. They will make sure they know what is going to happen at every single moment and if things don’t go to plan, they will not be happy. In an argument, you may need to reassure them and work on building an understanding between you.
As a C style, you might have a selfish side. Things don’t always have to go your way, learn how to consider what your partner wants and needs when making plans.
In all relationships, no matter your DISC style, There will be times when you need to consider your partner’s priorities as well as your own. You may even have to stretch into their style to make sure that you are understood.
It is true what they say, opposites attract. An I style can be seen taking centre stage whilst their C style partner is busy organising everything in the background. Similarly, whilst D styles might speak over everyone at the table, S styles will have in-depth conversations, generally 1 on 1, with close friends.
Do you think you know what style your partner is? Are you opposites? Why not send us a funny story that highlights the differences in your styles?
Keeping things simple in a complicated world.
To learn more about the DISC tool and how you can learn to identify different DISC styles. Come along to one of our free lunchtime sessions. They are full of powerful insight into the world of Everything DiSC® (part of the Wiley group) and in just 30 minutes you will learn something! We run a learning session every Monday and a Pro session for professionals already working with DISC every other Thursday.
If you are a people development expert, independent consultant or coach and would like to benefit from a like-minded and supportive network of people get in touch at email@example.com to find out how you can become a partner.